I’m hoping you’ve all gathered from the headline that this is clearly a Canadian bar. If you didn’t then you may want to stop reading now as it will probably send you into a boredom induced coma. Or keep reading and learn about how cool Canadians are. Your call.
We stumbled across this small Vancouverite run joint while wandering down SJDS’s (Nicaragua) main drag a block back from the beach. A sign caught my eye advertising poutine and caesars. No true-blooded Canadian can just continue past a tasty offering like this, so we ducked in for a quick round.
Canucks merch adorned the walls. The waiter was attentive and polite. The caesars had options to customise, including bacon. Poutines were 2 for 1. The Canucks were being shown live via NHL.com and were down 2-0 against Nashville. I was happier than a prostitute at a fucking Chinese gamblers convention.
I downed a couple caesars and got talked into trying some half price sushi. I believe it was called a 911 roll, it had some crispy prawn in it and was drizzled with Sriracha sauce. Take my money.
The ‘Nucks equalised and the party kicked it up a notch. I tried my best to summon up my old Canadian accent that has somehow blended into an English/Aussie/Canadian shit mix. “How do you think they’ll go in a shootout. Eh?” I asked a heavyset bearded fellow wearing a crop top and pink shorts who had clearly been hitting the sauce pretty hard for a few days. He went cross-eyed for a second before exhaling, filling the air with essence of hot sauce, beer and bad life choices. “Dunno…” Big fan then.
Anyways, the boys in Blue beat the Predators 3-0 in a shootout and it was game over on the TV but game on in the bar. I was clearly lacking behind my countrymen in blood alcohol percentage so I decided to try some “Moose Juice”. A glass of this potent potion set me back a mere 40 Cordobas, about $2.75. After a few of these I realised that I wouldn’t match the Canucks with their come from behind victory as these drunken, baseball capped lumberjacks were throwing back three to my one. I quietly made my exit, sidestepped the obligatory drug dealer near the door and called it a night.
MKT rating: 7.5/10 (I would have liked to see some Canadian beers on offer)